i wonder.

i'm feeling like crap right now. i don't know why i've got this bad tummy ache( which i suspect had to do with this raw green chilli i ate like an hour or so ago). i don't know why i'm this tired( though i've got a feeling it's got to do with the competition). i don't know why there's a dull ache in my heart that i've not felt for ages. i don't know why i keep up smiling like nothing's wrong when something obviously is wrong.

despite having spoken to grace in the middle of the night about what could've caused me to have the dull ache, and the smiling like nth's wrong when sth is wrong. nothing seems to make it feel better.