primary source.

~it's not that i don't like you. it's not that i don't wish to tell. but sometimes, telling you what i truly feel/ the exact truth can hurt. it was just my attempt at concern, and in the process i think i've managed to spare you the unhappiness.~

a lot of times, i find myself in a situation where someone tries to pry something out of me. an acknowledgement, an affirmation, or just plain gossip. s.o.m.e.t.h.i.n.g.!

and i find myself hiding. creating shades of myself. in order to be selective as to whom to dispense what information to.

of late, leading some to ask how real i am. simply because their perception would be reality to them.

yet, people still don't get it! they'll keep trying. no matter how many times it may take them just to get something that they are after.

i wished i could scribble all that i have to say on my arms. so i can just stick them out and whoever wants a piece of information could just read it themselves.

it would be the cold hard facts. but it could potentially lead to hurt. are you willing to go that far for information?

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i have been quite unable to blog lately. possibly due to the numerous amounts of articles that i had to write during the course of the semester break. i do believe i've not done this much work during a holiday since possibly my primary school days.

in place of the tons of assessment books and tuition that my mother insisted that i do/ go to, i have articles and articles to write. well, it was all fun until it started stealing what little personal time i have to spend thinking about issues.

so my blogging effort comes periodically now. it doesn't really matter if i leave the 'create new entry' window open while i'm online.

suddenly, there's no urge. but when there is... i find myself quite lost for words. and i stumble over my thoughts. and when an entry actually makes it, i smile a little.

yes, perhaps it's the stress caused by all the writing and writing. too many words used elsewhere for some other cause. perhaps. perhaps.

so bear with me for awhile. the randomness. the infrequency. the haphazardness of words and phrases. until i find my blogging self back.