veritas.

if you thought the BCG (some stupid jab you get before you leave primary school) was bad? think again. if you were the batches after 1999 or so who didn't get that jab, lucky you.

today has proven that acupuncture is the most painful needle work i can ever get in my life.

so the doctor walks in and tells me that she's going to administer the anaesthesia. which got me off the chair in a split second. considering how afraid i am of needles. However, the prick which came with the insertion of the needle into my cheek did not even go as close as the pain induced by that bloody 1mm pin they used for acupuncture on friday!

ok now the cool part, have you ever wonder what they meant when they used the description that botox freezes your muscles? well i finally got my answer! the anaesthesia froze my muscles. i did panic a little when the doctor came in and said:"ok, you should be all numb now." what if i wasn't numb yet, or enough?!

but she was right. i could not even feel it when she snipped me. i found myself somewhat slurring as the anesthesia started to affect my mouth area (oh, i'm sure whoever wants me to shut up for a moment would be darn happy reading this). the doctor got a little too unentertained and she stopped talking to me.

as for the scary bit? i could feel the doctor tugging at the threads as she closed my wound, knew every moment she was dabbing away at my blood, and even when she was switching between equipment which was clanging away on my shoulder. because i was bloody conscious through out the entire thing.

so what did i gather out of this entire thing? having a wound on your face sucks. it hurts worse than the stupid anaesthetic jab. i dont know why it hurts. perhaps it's got this whole numbness yet pricky feeling.

and no, it was not because i sought vanity. or perfection. but because fear has finally griped me in what has always been an important surgery i needed to attend to.

and yes, i have to admit.. i (still) is a scaredy cat.