everytime the opportunity comes to re- evaluate my friendships, i get afraid.
maybe it's cos, it's time to prove myself wrong, and feel the slap in the face.

today, 26 Jul 2004, my 19th bday has presented one such opportunity.
Hid., Joyce, Shu Fen spent my bday with me. amid short, but memorable.
sometimes, pple u thot would never be close, are always there ready to be there for you.

u might say it's just a dinner thing. and not think anything abt it. but no matter rain or shine, bad or good, these three pple has always been there for me. they might get pissed, and i get pissed. but we did look beyond our differences. no matter how difficult it was to open our mouths, we did do so, and resolved the conflicts that we had. running away wasn't an option. we made clear we got our msg thru, and was taken the way we meant it.

sometimes pple run. why? cos they are cowardly. they dare not face the reality that's presented to them. cowardness presents itself as th most appropriate word. cos it describes the exact action that these pple take. then go around, and spread it on to others.

i've come to the point of having realized, that things i do are no reciporated. i don mean being done back the same way, but in other ways. it may be small, but id appreciate.

someday i might be able to look beyond everything. i've come to the point of looking beyond a certain barrier. and reflecting on what certain pple have said to me. i totally agree with you guys man, props to you- i din know why i din realize sooner.

i hope i could shake your hand someday, and tell you i've stuck to my principles of friendship, but if i cant/ choose not to, means i've lost respect for you. and to me, once it's lost, it'll nvr come back.

there's pple whom i don like at all, but i still respect. and to these pple, continue to hold them with regard, cos they've shown that they're worth respecting, and in some ways, emulating...