of late...

of late, i've found myself unable to construct proper arguments in my head. that suddenly a lot of loopholes appear in the things i say. that each sentence i utter needs a triple take before it actually leaves my lips.

of late, i'd wake up in jolts and then panic thinking about what i was dreaming about. or i'd break out in cold sweat in the middle of nothing. goosebumps would appear at the strangest moments.

of late, my fingers don't run on the ivories as well as they used to. lack of practice perhaps, but i can't find the urge to play. and each time i do, i play sad sad songs. that even fast pieces become slow, and off tempo. i'd play dreary pieces. those that allow me to lose count of the beat. those that required little haste from my stubborn, retarded fingers.

back till a few moments ago, i've been hearing howls of wind from what i experienced back in Japan one tropical storm day some years back. cat. 2 perhaps? i don't exactly remember. but it's scary enough considering that i'm so accustomed to only experiencing cat. 1s in sgp.

my aunt called, at about 2300hours just to inform all of us that they're all fine and the hurricane had past. i heaved a sigh of relief. the fears i've built up in my head for the past couple of days gone. lifting weight off my shoulders.

perhaps it will all be gone- the jolts, the cold sweat, the sad sad songs tingled out on the piano. i'll attempt to sleep now and hopefully it will be peaceful.