IF..

a couple of days ago, someone asked me: "if something were to happen to either of you the next day, i wonder how the other would feel... "

the crisp morning air filled my lungs as i breathed words. manifested in the form of my usual smart alecky remarks.

but for a moment, my breath slowed although my footsteps quickened to catch up with the person.

in the darkest of the night while i tossed and turned in an attempt to sleep last night, i thought about that question again.

i truly wondered.. if that day really did come how i'd feel. i tried to hug everyone i truly cared about today. but you see, image is very important to me.

my sudden desire to hug everyone and tell them something nice, just didn't seem to be the way to go. you know. image issues. i couldn't do it in public. i'd rather be caught dead with my jeans around my ankles than hug someone in public and say niceties.

perhaps i need to get over myself already. and start showing everyone how much they matter to me.

otherwise i doubt i'll know how to deal should the day ever come..