When your heart is broken, your boats are burned: nothing matters any more. It is the end of happiness and the beginning of peace.
~George Bernard Shaw

spotted this quote in m. gayle's Dinner for Two.

given this quote then, why do we waste our time being in love?

since eventually we still hope to be at peace. without starting a relationship with the possibility/ eventuality of being broken hearted, we can remain at peace.

but truth be told, though it may be the end of happiness, it does not really lead to the beginning of peace. cos peace usually starts setting in at a much later point.

i don really know. but that's as far as i've got. havent really thought farther into it. but the quote's been swimming in my head for a long time. of course, it could be seen in many other contexts. but usually most categorise it under 'love'.

as grace said, there's always someone out there made for you. so why bother looking? see, fate is really weird. yeah, so till the right person comes along i guess it's best to not let ur boats be burned and just sit around and watch the world go by.

~current temperature: 37.2 deg. down by 1.2 deg~

so. anw.

i'm sick as some of u already know.

fever, sorethroat, cough and flu.

after Grace got warded into hospital i keep having the fear that i'd be next. that i need to be ultra careful with myself.

i'm not fragile but everytime i step into the hospital i smell death. i guess there's always the fear of looking it in the face and wondering when it'd come.

not gonna be training tmr. hoping to recover by tues so that i'll be ready for competition on wednesday.

loads of tough modules ahead. hoping to do better than this semester. it really starts to sink in when you mom keeps saying that she's upset that you're not on the honor roll that yeah you prolly didnt place in enough effort this time.

thought i spotted Nath yesterday when i was out at orchard with Chweng and gRace. oh well. nth much to talk about between the two of us anyway. i guess overtime when you don work at friendships, you end up wif nth to talk abt. so i hope he's happy with whoever he's with now. ( yeah i saw the girl.)

gonna go off. perspiring like i've just visited the suana. does that mean i'm getting better? hopefully so...

well today was fop.
thnx to grace lateness was the first on the list. but well
doesnt really matter since we managed to make the day pretty good.
we didnt have like everything we needed so we kept improvising. changing the games and switching the items in the games.
i don know. i did some really lame stuff. but for not losing my cool today, i give myself a thumbs up.
i guess today's experience and happenings have made me learn to accomodate pple more. to learn to laugh at my stupid self. and also to learn to be adaptable.
that no matter what happens there's always a solution. and a solution will definitely come if you think enough.
someone dislocated his shoulder while playing one of the games. but the thing is, it's easy to injure your shoulder that way. yeah, i guess he was in some ways unlucky.
however there's a lesson to be learnt that when we are playing games we have to be more careful. since eventually getting injured aint really a good thing... and you don't win. that's i guess the worse dose of bad luck anyone can get.
ok what am i talking about? just thinking out loud. really tired. guess i'll go go to bed.
night!

i do have much to blog about today. so i'm gonna talk abt my new boyfriend- best friend.

i don really have found the time to find out his name. but he's really unique. sleek, cool... shiny.

performs well. has good memory. sets the environment on fire with his presence.

hasnt made me pissed... yet.

hasnt thrown a tantrum on me.. yet.

hasnt left me in a lurch... yet.

meet him. i'm so happy just being around him.. my nec s940 1702.

=)

gosh what have you been thinking there?!

and now, i've been hit by sore throat and blocked nose, on top of fatigue, loads of mossie bites and heavy eyelids.

well. it's kind of getting on my nerves. i admit that most times i'm not the most punctual of people(?) but i try my best to get there on time. that some people choose to turn up late is really crazy cos we have a really tight schedule to work with.

that although i may be overly ambitious most times-which i admit- that i still place in effort to get the stuff i've promised done.

i guess eventually, prioritizing is important. that said, after much discussion with May and Grace and Howie and Matt that I shall drop the idea of taking German. although i don't really know how i'm gonna tell Marc that despite all his advise i've decided to drop the idea. i guess eventually i'll think of someway since somehow sometime very soon i need to bring the issue up.

i hope that FOP will go well. i know that i tried to think of ways to spruce up the goodie bags, but i'm really sorry if i hadn't done a good job at it. that i need to brace myself from getting upset when we get feedback about it such as pple throwing stuff away in front of our eyes.

as far as i know. i've already put my best foot forward. have you?

-amore e musica by Russell Watson-

tired. but i guess it's ok to be tired when you start seeing the fruits of labor. finally all the things that we were promised yesterday for sponsorship started coming. and i'm really glad about it. cos this means that grace will be less stressed now. =)

with the help of a really nice lecturer we managed to fetch all 73 cartons of gifts and other stuff from one end of the school to SB. THANK YOU SO MUCH!

next week will be orientation and hopefully it'll all fall into place. for all the stuff we have done and prayed for. after that we can all just have all have a peace of mind when we go to bed everynight.

if you're wondering why i'm making sentences into paragraphs it's cos i'm really really tired and not really thinking.

i guess it was a fun day today. trying to run a cart up the steep slope all the way up to SB.

training this weekend. i believe all this tiredness is but a test to how things will be like when school starts. and howi must learn to handle fatigue and all.

went for fop meeting today. woah. progressive is the word to describe today's session. yeap! if anyone wants to help out for fop that's gonna be held btw 24- 26 may 2005, pls contact me or anyone u know on the comm from dmc ( read: Howie, gRace, May, Aishah or me) ok?

anw we went to hmv and realized how much may liked luRves the Corrine May cd and so suddenly grace whispered

grace: we'll just get that for her ok since she already got a pencil case from someone.

so i had to serve a 'distraction' while gRace rushed to the counter to pay. and when May said

May: what's grace doing there?

ME: *a bit panicky but trying to act nonchalant* don know la. let's walk around.

suddenly...

ME: * enlightened look* Oh! maybe abt the sponsorship?

and...

ME: Ooh! I hear simpsons! simpsons!

hahahah!

and we acted normal till we were abt to go our separate ways and gRace whispered ( while hugging me- this is the new secret msg method me thinks)

gRace: Ok, i'm gonna give her now.

and suddenly she whipped the cd out! and gave it to May. yippee! at least we've made someone's day today. =)

tired. long long long day ahead for tmr. there's something abt some filming or something at sailing. and we all have to be there by 8am? tired. and this doesnt help. but it's stuff that's to be done. besides at least i'd be sailing not doing sth stupid. =) and hopefully it rains tmr cos i really like to sail in the rain despite it being cold. i just love the cold since i cant stand the heat nowadays.

grand plan: move into some place with may and grace someday and spread my irritating- ness to them everyday since they spoil me so much. i'm afraid that i get so used to it i don even want to get married eventually.. if somehow someone someday asks me to marry him... or her ( hahha! just kidding really.).
so in my frens i find the characteristics of the model partner. and nxt time i'll impose a rule that whoever i'm seeing will have to deal with them and learn from them on how to deal with me with rule no. 1 being - give in to cheryl when she says she wants to eat at somewhere. hahhah! ok. i was just joking really.

this is getting a bit overboard with all my crap. guess i'd leave now.

Queen of all irritants... signing out!

for going around rejecting pple. things will come back and haunt u someday. and u'll get rejected.

ok, i mean we face it everyday but on different scales. today i had a new record man. see, for not giving others an opportunity, they may come back and haunt u when u really need/ want one.

so yeah. it's quite a freaky feeling really. but at least it closes a chapter somewhere. that when u look at things in the entirety realize that seriously u have a part to play in it. and in this situation, shoulder the blame.

i'm still happy cos at least i know. and knowing places me in a good mood cos i know. ok nvm i'm confusing myself =)

marke told me awhile ago that his dad got warded into hospital for the past couple of days for a viral infection in his blood.

however, despite that he still bothered to send me a nice nice nice x1000 msg sending all his love and blah blahs.

the thing is. though we don't talk nice enough or often enough he's still very much a friend and someone that i would rant to... whenever he finds the time to entertain me ( usually on lazy saturday mornings).

it's kinda crazy eh? that despite my screwed up life, there's pple who care. so i guess i should be ever grateful for their advise.

up-in-aus joyce, hid., eve, gRace, may, and loads more. it's like suddenly during screwed up times you'll come to realize who are true friends.

and yeah, i guess when things happen, i just feel that my life aint as screwed up as i always make it out to be. so hopefully things will be fine dude!


-Stones taught me to fly/Love, taught me to lie/Life, taught me to die/So it's not hard to fall/When you float like a cannonball-
~ Damien Rice's Cannoball

right. i don really know what happened, but my stupid IE has screwed up. it refuses to open my blog page. and some other sites. so i've switched to Firefox. however, the good news is it's still pretty functional for MYSAS ( read: the darling 2 followed by 6 zeros sys?) Anyway, i LuRve firefox by the way. so nifty and all.

today, after catching GUESS WHO? ( i know some pple will say i'm w.o.l.s) with May we bumped into Tracy at Heerens. I was kinda taken aback that she called me. she looked kinda different. oh well. perhaps fairer or sth. but i was too caught up in conversation to notice anymore details. besides she was with a friend, not very good to casual chat me thinks.

i don really want anymore comparisons or acknowledgement as oh tt girl from jc or sth. yup. i think i've heard enuf of tt.

actually i even realized that i do look like that jc kid anw. in the sense that when i stepped into TPJC yesterday, Eve's comment that we still look like we were in jc was quite true. ( read: i was wearing a tpjc pe shirt and commenting that despite much soaking and sunning in sea water, it still looks pretty new. to tt, i wonder what many of u have been doing to make ur shirt look worn and old.)

anw. abt guess who? it's quite a good show. i feel that it's important that we all see beyond color. that we shud judge pple by who they are. the other day some kid told me that our intelligence are judged by the things we say. that if we made critically good comments we had the smarts. otherwise we didn't. i remembered GC used to make really racist jokes in class back at TPJC. personally i have never judged pple by their color. though at times certain thoughts do appear in my mind. that said, i try to be as color blind as i can be. i believe this show has made a very important statement that at the end of the day, character is far more important than appearance and stuff. ( then again being charmy with guys from different races have also led to many to comment that i do suffer from pinkerton's or sth* cough- grace-cough*. but let me assure u i dont although i occasionally prefer hanging arnd some guys rather than others based on character/ personality/ fun level. this year, however i have not done so since i have been avoiding most pple a LOT.)

have been listening to IL Divo. not bad actually. but the thing is, hearing it when one is upset would make one even more upset. hahahha! cos of the way the songs were executed. but then. in some ways the arrangement of the songs are pretty rad. some were quite beautiful i must admit.

reckon they'll get better on the second album, like Russell Watson who's voice seemed to have become more controlled and defined which is good. =)

ok. enough crapping around. haven done much today. just slacking and walking arnd orchard. guess i shall let my left-foot-wound heal now since it's been itching since the moment i got home. argh.