experienced one of those times i really wanna walk away. and NOT TURN BACK...
was just telling Matt abt the disappearing phenomenon of mine. and he was telling me abt the gang bang syndrome. now now, this has nth to do with s e x.
it's rather abt how things kinda clash into each other and u know? just turn into sth really disastrous. yups.
actually i don think i'll do anything really stupid. maybe just disappear for awhile, then come back. i'm pretty levelheaded so i wont do anything stupid like jumping off the cliff. i just need to take a real good loner's walk...

abt sat: pls come early k? i'll bore yuhui to death if u leave me in her clutches...

SHIT HAPPENS. THIS TIME I'VE SCREWED UP...

woah.wednesday! yay yay. tt means it's only like 3 days to Sat! Yuhui told me she couldnt get the car. guess we'll have to depend on our public transport. and she got her wisdom tooth pulled out. ouch! thank god i din hafta go thru tt.
right,i've decided tt we shall all byo alcoholic drinks.lest we get cheated by the guys again.they finished most of the bottle and they made the girls go dutch( thank god i had bottle no. 2 all to myself =P).
right. projects due this week are fhm-icp and OC-transvestites. don ask me why i picked those, but yups, i did.
joyce is gg PARIS. oh my god. not like Paris hilton Paris, but Paris as in France Paris.ahhhh! i so wanna go! take me along in ur little suitcase k? i can stand the ride no worries! hahhahah!

~darlin' u... send me...~ Shawn Kane's you send me

today.bad day.serious.
i'm not the sort who makes
-baseless accusations
-who would name names in context of different issues.
so yups.was kinda shocked when i experienced all the accusing tt i was commenting on certain pple when i actually wasnt.guess it's abt asking oneself whether one is guilt ridden.
headache.din get to sleep last night,thnx to the bloody loud snoring.argh.
i'm quite meek now.just feel reall sedated due to the lack of sleep.gee gee.
piano lessons.first time in mths i din even feel like playing.argh.this is really bad.needa get more motivated.

~they say if you love sth let it go.if it comes back it's yours tt's how you know.tt it's for keeps yeah it's for sure~

hey! happie happie bday Yezhong! now ur 20, no more a teen. hahaha!man already la...
cant wait to see all of you on sat. by then, guess i would have gotten over 28th sept. actually seems like the case already. i'm pretty upbeat and all. ah well. like i said, everything is left to fate. i'll not tempt it. tried and failed several times. so now, God? i leave my life in ur hands k? pls take good care of me. (hehx)
got a shock when i reached my blog and tt cute pic of tt lil girl disappeared. was like. fwah? thank god SB told me tt maybe the server was down, cos her blog was experiencing the same thing, and she's got this grey filled blog.

today, we skipped ITB and went to play. hahah! don ask me why. shes really boring. i so totally dread gg for the lessons actually. but guess cos i really needed a breather from all the shite that has been coming my way recently. got called a bitch today, by Jeremy. can you imagine? all i did was ask him to do his work properly,cos the proj is due fri and stop resting on his laurels and he called me a bitch. fwah?! oh well, cant pls everyone i guess.


~the battle's almost won, and we're only several miles from the sun~

hey! thnx hidayah for being so encouraging. yeah, me thinks so too. guess things DO happen for a reason. we'll only the final result when the time comes eh?

but my promises remain. i don think i'll change them. for the past 3 yrs, ( think it's 4 actually), i've stuck to them. though during certain periods i began to suspect myself and i bailed. but other then tt i've always stuck to whatever i had said. so u see, certain things do remain, and i'd love very much to keep things tt way.

heard Alicia Keys' IF I AINT GOT YOU? it's really true k? i cant believe it. it's like writing abt everyone's lives. each of us fall into certain categories. we somtimes live cos of $$, or for fame.

Some people live for the fortune/Some people live just for the fame/Some people live for the power yeah/Some people live just to play the game/Some people think that the physical things/Define what's within/And I've been there before/But that life's a bore/So full of the superficial

Some people want it all/But I don't want nothing at all/If it ain't you baby/If I ain't got you baby/Some people want diamond rings/Some just want everythingBut everything means nothing/If I ain't got you

but seriously, we all would someday fall in the category of not wanting anything except tt someone. it maybe be ur best fren, or ur kid, or ur sibling, or ur relative. lost does hurt. been thru 2 losses, 4 actually. one or two i was too young to really know. but hey, when u have lost, u will know what it feels like. not only do u just lose tt person, u lose everything. ur sense of direction, ur faith, or confidence. everything just falls apart.

oh well. spent the entire day at home. talked on the phone for like, 1.5 hrs to some 'i'm sick in bed' person. heh, but at least i felt better this wk. i know i'm capable of fighting for my rights, and my beliefs. tt i can stand up to pple who think tt i'm some softie who simply gives in to be accepted. LISTEN GOOD. i don seek acceptance. i'll be who i choose to be, cos really, if u don accept me i cant convince u to.don expect me to be some pushover.i have loads of stuff to do too, i don sit at home all day and do homework.

party stuff: yes, meeting on saturday will be early. pls don tell andrew lim abt it. pls come prepared to write what u wanna say to him. anything is fine. even if u say u love him 'till death do us part'( i can imagine who would write tt, *nudge nudge*) pls bring money. think i'll only buy like 12 pints of beer. so no stealing k? hahah!

to james: hey! i'm game for ur challenge. 2007, 2008...

to eve: happie early 19th bday.

to matt: hey thnx for talking to me man, i seriously could be on the brink of madness with all the things gg on.

to the rest of yer: love u heaps!

just got back from IMH. Calista and I walked to Cartel at Tampines before we went our separate ways. guess who i saw? Suhaimi and Andrew Lim at Swenson's Tamp. hahaha! really. i even waved to them after i tapped the glass to get their attention. anw, i've bought the boxfor the msg pressie for A.lim already. 5 bucks. so i don know how we're gonna divide the cost actually. pls spread the word arnd amongst the A04 pple k?
now tt the guys have heard abt the SP guy rumor started by someone in our midst, i think they've sworn not to walk near me or go out with me anymore... sadx...how can you guys do this to me? aiyoh... i know i've become good over the yrs, but u still cont. to go out with me what. so this stupid rumor( i know none of u wanna be labelled as SP guy) shouldn't stop you ok? anw, i'm in the midst of diffusing it. guess it'll die a natural death, since they know tt i constantly leave most things half done, and they'll just kill this rumor when they've had enuf of it...

well, happie today.
we've managed to secure a sponsorship from Jotun for paint up the dayroom for IMH. thanks Jotun! this will be beneficial for the betterment of the residents there....Financial Dept of SP has given us another 200 bucks for materials. yay yay! gg down tmr to recce. heh.

Abt th buffet. booking on fri, don worry. now i need a nice kind guy to go shopping for drinks with me, who has a car can??? pls pls be a dear and step forward and render ur help??? =)

thnx hid for the nice ride home!
guess what? she was so sweet, actually called me from NUS and asked to meet me on the mrt, so we could take it home together. it was really fun. and now she knows the promise i've made. NO CLUBBING, NO DRINKING, NO SMOKING. i seriously don wanna be strangled alive, and have her see me hanging by a rope at the tree under her block.
so today we've completed FOM. not bad... heh, i'm happy we're done with the written bit, cos it's like the toughest to conceptualize. cos it's like so many pple coming together to do it. but thank god we ad not major issues. cant imagine if i had to follow LAW BY LAW everything tt was written in the brief... some unfortunate souls were part of someone's grp and i can imagine being driven up the wall, cos i've been there... once and i hope nvr again.

anyhoo, Andrew Lim says to invite Hwee Soon to come for the gathering yay yay.
oh yes, no alcoholic drinks. darn, another kind soul helping me stick to my promise. gee... ah well. let's get him sth nice, cos he's done loads of nice things for us.. i meant Andrew Lim. Hid's suggested doing a short write up abt him. actually i've done tt, hopefully parts of it gets selected for publication. hahahhahah! ah well, if it does i'll tell yer....

Matt said i wasnt easy gg. am i not? when i told Hid on the mrt, she was shocked tt he'd say tt. ah well... guess tt's sth i've gotta work on.

is this the end? maybe, cos i keep feeling this way. i wont really know would i.. till i get to talk abt it seriously. then maybe again, i'll call the shots( actually, i usually do in most cases)...

like me new bloggggggg skin?

thot it was kinda cool. i like the pic.

reminds me of the days when i was a kid. look out of the window and pine for sth.
just realized tt pining is sth we've done from young, just tt we never realized tt.
ah well. what can i say...

i've just asked for a separate drink budget from andrew lim. will it be approved? you bloody hell hope so if u're intending on drinking sth wicked! ahhahah!

cheryl: so nice to hear tt u're finally tt much closer. it's good for u.

hidayah and eve: yes i know it's bad... but hey! don forget what i am... i'm famous.. er quite famous for tt. i wont settle for anything really.
then again. the old is always better. it's like... sth u've worn for so long. the more you wear it, the better it fits. so it's kinda like tt. new ones just keep changin, but the old one stays. of course don apply to everyone, and not everyone likes it tt way. cos some rather just stick to one particular shirt. or just keep changing shirts, or jeans, whatever...
but for me, there's always one fave shirt, and it sticks. and i still have it! heh.... the rest are like just for the sake of change. guess tt's e way it is.... heh heh....

projects are mad! had to rush rush rush. i'm still rushing. no time for a nice cuppa, no time for nice tv hours, no time to chat, no time for.. .. argh!!! if it continues this way. think i'm gonna old my old shirt and just go for change change change... which actualy is quite interesting too. considering my 'style', which er-hum a few of u don approve of... guess just got to see how it goes. if a hole runs thru it then off it goes...

hey! regarding the gathering again. actually i wont even call it a gathering, cos we're intending to party( even if it's till day breaks). right, i've asked about the menu, and whether there's a separate budget for our drinks. heh, u know what i'm thinking abt, though i'm supposed to be saintly, and NOT DRINK.
so right, the party will actually start early, w/o andrew lim. Hidayah has suggested that we get him sth, after all the treats he's given us. so i think that's the thing we should do, get him sth.
anw, my mom's not gonna be arnd from the afternoon, so u pple gotta come and accompany me ok ok???
i could make all of you VODKA LIM... er LIME. hahz. =)
anw, i'm so looking fwd to see the guys. and we can all start sharing our views again. heh...i'll be praying it wont rain, and i hope you too!

to James: Welcome back!

on things less explanable: i'm just gonna leave it up to God to make these decisions for me. i believe in You, and i've learnt to nvr force things, and it's really up to fate cos You've had decisions like these already written in the stars for us.

on the gathering: yes, it's very confirmed. my place. cos Clarissa Park's booked. but think about it, you can stay as late as you want at my place. heh. those who wanna tan and stuff? come earlier. those who intend to hit the waters, pls come prepared. i don wanna get scolded by the guard again. heh... pls keep this in mind, thnx! and spread the word arnd. Final details will be out soon. once we've fixed the time and stuff. if you wanna bring drinks? pls do... heh! i'm so looking forward to this, to see all of you again. for those reading this, and are interested to find out who's coming. here's the list:

A01: Gabriel, Gerald, Ivan, Haikal, Justin

A02: Xiaomin, Jason

A03: Wee Kiat, Junmin, Nadiah, Zhen Hao

A04: Jia Xi, Wee Cheer, Phyllis, Su Qin, Chinn Yun, Yu Hui, How Boon, Joyce, Hidayah, Gerald, Ye Zhong, Lyna, Evelyn, Shen Yeow, Jing Xuan, Shaun, Yi Quan

on aus trip: i've cancelled my application. it's gonna cost me close to 8k. just got a boat, so i guess i'll just train here. anw Vic is gonna stay behind with Daryl and Charmaine, so i guess i'll train with them.

school's been fine. but it's kinda screwed up cos, they've got all these presentation lined up just before our exam weeks. argh....
need at least 5 As, don care. and 2 Bs. then at least i'm quite safe. sigh, stress stress. need to get down on real serious studying. Ms Hui was right, wont have the time to really study. less sms-ing and chatting, and tv then. so i can cram in more time for studying...

cant believe Ye zhong actually recognised my house no. when i called him tt day. how did i know? cos later he called back my Hp and asked me why i called... heh. quite like tt guy last time. there's just sth abt him. haha...

well, gonna go. have loads of stupid projects to clear. E.N.D.L.E.S.S. ! ! !
whoever wants to come early, give me a call ok?

till next time, take care... and you know you love me =0)

Today was eventFULL.
had to wake up at like 7 ish. and i slept only like 3 ish. damn stressed. my piano exams just ended, so i'm kinda like on overdrive.
i was totally stoned at collateral, which was damn funny. cos i provided the laughs... yeah, Matt laughed at me for being so stoned. guys, take the piano exams man. u don need drugs to get stoned, just a ONCE IN A LIFETIME performance and after tt u'll feel drugged. and then u go into overdrive once the stoning process ends. so yes, lack of sleep thanks to the end of piano exams. in a few wks's time, would be stressed over the release of results. I'm a WORRIER. what the &$*# ?!
nowadays rite? everyone's so busy ( except Joyce. oi!) studying and it's like we all don have time to go out. can only hang out with pple who can readily take leave man. even Wee Cheer they all cant take leave. except loafer Matt whos' like slacking in army in some nice funky dept.heh heh!
anw, bad day today. XZ planned a 9.30 am meeting. who the &$*^ would have a 9.30 meeting? there's always the 9 o'clock, or 10 o'clock meetings, unless it's urgent to have one at all the odd pts on the clock. so ok, i went directly to FC6 to book a table for us to have a discussion.
XZ sat down and started having all these grand plans. and she was disinterested in what we had to say. she wanted mascot and all those fancy stuff. hello? IT'S NOT A MKTG PROJ. ok, this i can use caps. cos it's really stupid to wanna do all these mktg stuff with design, though it's good to integrate subjects. Ms Nga had already said i'm interested in the design. this is design class.
well, Sze Bim( hey! same initial as School of Biz man!) took out the design she, Wan Ching and i thought up. note: if it wasn't something we were all agreeable abt, it was to the trash can. so yes. someone threw a bloody hissy fit. slammed stuff on table. ask for comments. NO COMMENTS( x like i don know how many) and was totally unconstructive. so yes, she got angry with us. i told her off. not in my loud full of anger voice, but in my i mean business, i'm giving u the tip of the iceberg before i consider drowning u... and she still said all these stupid things.
H E L L O ? no project is done til it's handed in and a grade is received.
she hates me rite? so now i've provided th best reason for her to hate me, in her immature mind. so yes, if she hates me cos of this. i'll be laughing to the bank to check whether my interest has grown by 600 % overnight. i just felt damn pissed. i mean if it were me, i would've appreciated a project that's already half done, then trying to do everything from scrap. i just don get it...
school hols next wk= work... time to get some money. i'm so broke! and all that i get's gonna go towards the boat and the trip. save save save. nth more impt than tt. so next time if u invite me to the movies? rem. to get me a free ticket ok? heh heh heh!