it must be love.

so i turned on the radio, and a song was playing. the lyrics go like this..


"I've got to be near you
Every night, every day
I couldnt be happy
Any other way
It must be love, love, love
It must be love, love, love
Nothing more, nothing less
Love is the best"

if there was a single song to listen to while you are depressed, it would have to be this one by Madness entitled "It must be love". having decided to adhere itself to me some years back, i still marvel at how it can make me feel happy- as happy as listening to The Cure's "Friday I'm in love" for 50 times in one sitting.

on a note completely unrelated to the issue of love or even the likes of it. The tune just makes me feel so happy and altogether hyper, that i forget all the cares in the world. good for all 3 minutes and 23 seconds of the song. before i'm placed back on solid ground and have to trudge through the harshness of the world once again.

thou shalt never ever..

never ever ever tell your relatives to sponsor a party. they'll make ridiculous requests. make that, demands. including wearing a dress. (lydia is so going to have a field day with the law lecturer on this.)

thou shalt never ever cancel trigonomical equations call for sponsorship from relatives ever again. unless it's for a franck muller watch. which i'll possibly only get in my Next life.

sigh like a deflated balloon.

more to come after further negotiations with the money people in the next 11 weeks. stay tuned.

i'll check with the weather

sitting in the lecture where most people wore the 'glazed over' look which my law lecturer used to describe while giving out assignment briefs, it provided a wee bit of time for introspection.

#1.
i do admit that i'm highly mischevious, even to the point of hurting people. it's the whole 'think before you speak' phenomenon that's leeched itself onto my playful nature.

#2.
i do admit that i have hurt people, as much as i wish to be in denial-pretending i don't know what's going on in hopes of skirting around the issue(s). but i do know that i need to address the matter of others' feelings (yes, it's all coming back to haunt me now- so not funny) and learn to also ensure that others know that i know, in ways of not hitting all the wrong buttons (#3).

#3.
i do admit that being forever 8 means that i would try to test the boundaries occasionally and push all the wrong buttons.. all at the wrong time. which would lead back to #2.


and if you link #1. #2. and #3. together, i would present to you my greatest problem. constantly falling short of being funny.

so, to conclude my self-reflection session, i will check with the weather (everytime i wish to be mischevious), so i won't end up on the wrong side of the clouds- without an umbrella.

[ so i finally agree with lydia- although all she had said at 0100 hours could have been a farce (i was fighting my eyelids by then, forgive me), if not for the introspection time 25 dollars bought me today. sigh, why does she (almost) always have to be proven right?! (not that it's not a good thing..) ]

stupid stupid stupid.

i hate you. there i've said it.

stop emailing us about stupid work la.

as much as i did previously have some contact with some personalities i'm not about to succumb to your wimps and ask them about their favorite foodie hangout.

because, we aren't exactly healthy food pple. we endorse fast food as our choice of snack, and coke as our fave poison, whilst alcohol as a necessity not a luxury.

in fact, the only healthy food i endorse is my mom's cooking and foot-long toasted subs. why? because there's an abundance of vegetables which causes jaime to faint as he's allergic to any hint of greens.

i await your little perverse complain to our favorite uncle. and i'll ensure i go in there and give him an idea of what i think of you and your crap. because the last i checked? you have no bloody idea what you want, so how can i give you something you have no idea about?

oh my hand.

it suddenly occured to me last night that it was time to pray for the recovery of my writing hand.

the spot doesn't hurt as much today. it's either the power of prayer, or that my hand suddenly decided to 'wake up' its bloody idea and heal so as not to waste money at the doctor's. but i reckon the former would be the more likely situation.

sigh.

dh: oh yes! we are finally on the same page!

me: yes yes, i suspect i may be the most expensive free labor in school. after all, if you translate all that i've done into billing terms, i would most certainly have easily bought myself a nice holiday.

dh: now, don't get too sure of yourself.

me: i Am sure that i'll be able to buy myself the holiday!

dh: ok, haha, fine.

me: i desperately need a holiday! i'm certain of this too.

dh: ...



dh, after numerous introductions (if you still don't know him) is a childhood friend, who's been bullied into submission by me. not that he's a push over, but you know.. old habits die hard. heh heh.

i wonder how life would be like should he suddenly disappear from the face of this earth.

hero.

life teases you into believing that it creates chances. in truth, it robs you of them. leaves you penniless and stranded. and it's hardly ever sympathetic.

but you just need to continue fighing. for as the saying goes:-

"he who lives to fight today, will live to fight another day."

and that's how heroes come about. they are those who don't give up. ralph waldo emerson defined a hero as (someone who):

"a hero is no braver than an ordinary man, but he is braver five minutes longer."

perhaps few people have a hero. but most people have an idol. and i reckon that's good enough. as long as you respect the person for the right reasons..

pondered

it's been a long time since i first saw this. but it intrigues me to think that something so 9 march 1954 could still prove so telling, in this time.

"we must not confuse dissent with disloyalty. we must remember always that accussation is not proof and that conviction depends upon evidence and due process of law."
- Edward R. Murrow, American broadcast journalist :: Good night. And, good luck.

what a tease.

the crisp morning air filled my lungs as i breathed words: "No, i won't. why should i anyway?"

i'm eating my words today. funny how life has always enjoyed teasing me into eating my own words.. just that this time around i'd readily do it. though the party(ies) involved are different this time around..

on virtues, values and commoditization.

this idea came about thanks to a debate due during my Corporate Identity and Brand Management class coming Wednesday.

yes, commoditization cheapens a value. because everyone forgets the essence of an occasion. after all, the over commercialization of occasions have lead to most of us falling into the marketing ploys of capitalists. whom, i dare say, held our hearts at ransom over a simple gift of which price has inflated to a ridiculously exhorbitant amount.

why? because mothers' day is coming (yes, sunday.. i think). or better yet. you don't want to turn up at someone's home during [ insert name of festive occasion ] empty handed do you?

so nowadays, special occasions are-to me-merely occasions to buy the receiver some denial. that the giver is so thoughtful, and nice, and sweet. you know all the nice things.

but could it simply be that the giver does not want to be caught dead appearing at a major party/special occasion/festivity without a gift in hand?!

i've quite been there and done that. as much as i try to personalize the gift and try to make it special. i do not wish to be caught dead going to a party without a gift at hand. however, i would attribute this to how my parents have constantly drilled it into me to never turn up emptyhanded at someone's door. no matter what the situation may be. okay, i digress..

However, i can't say the same thing for virtues. if honesty has always been a virtue taught to us since we were children. i wonder how some people could forget about it? what about.. diligence and never producing slipshod work? perhaps even commitment?

if i were given a chance to buy a virtue and give it away as a gift. i honestly wouldn't mind however much it may cost me. because there's always no such thing as too much virtue, but it's a sin to have too little of it.

so please, oh my beloved capitalists. please think of ways to commoditize a virtue so i can buy it in time for everyone this christmas..

at this moment..

I have officially been pissed for close to 20 hours. slept 14 hours of my day away, and also splurged an obscene amount of money on the (v.) impending (doom which awaits me in the form of) mother's day.

I have officially checked out the Motorola E1070, Samsung Z500 (again. despite having already test-'drove' it once), the n6280, and spent a rather perverse amount of time trying to catch the little Moto-snitch on a website.

I have officially stoned over Smart Mobs (Rheingold, 2001), tsk-tsked at a few of the write-ups featured in the TIME100 (which I've even taken particular note to clichés and corny sentences), and drank a diabetes-inducing amount of Pepsi.

I have officially stared at JCMC's website for the past hour, played games online the entire night till I felt too tired to continue, and stuffed enough Kleenex into my nose to diagnose myself a victim of an (v.) imminent flu.

I have officially indulged my exhibitionist and voyeuristic tendencies numerous times in the last 24 hours, and even checked out Innertube.

I have officially listened to Lyd talk about Razor Ramon (HG), played with the new telly i conveniently 'stole' from my aunt's house, and figured out how I could convincingly (by a mile) convince my mom to get me the Bohemia Piano I want, soon.

All these I did online during my daily tryst with my NEC laptop.

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Then comes the major reality check..

I have yet to start writing for my proposal, due this coming Friday. I am so, so, so dead..

I've conveniently spent part of my life listening to parents gripe. Especially when the Internet was introduced and me, my generation started logging online and chocking up Internet and phone charges which parents would take out to compare over dinner each week.

Conversations would-most times when the Internet is brought up- go like this:
Whoever said technology was all good?! It's just a bloody capistalist's scheme to suck you into the web and then create an evelope of turmoil in your life as you sink into remorse for wasting your time doing hardly an inch of work as you snake your way through the Internet and merge into obscurity and anonymity with the millions of other web-users.

Okay, I've merely rephrased everything they've said into my own words. But the essence is still there (I hope), since it's too problematic trying to rephrase the (long-winded, and super naggy) parents' gripes about something their generation had to accept is the key of the future.

But being a firm believer in technology and an early adopter of the Internet (since I sneakily used my uncle's while he was out to work as a kid), I do believe that it is a necessary evil to making my life better.

After all, I've never known life without a phone (though I still know how it feels like writing a letter-painful), or even travelling on a ship (Sailing is more than enough to make me sick of the sea, thank you very much. Most of you would just go for cruises. But a ride on Queen Mary II would be a totally different story for me when the time comes), or even one without a telly and a radio to tune into.

I can use my handphone to get online and find out what time a particular movie is showing at Cathay, and I can even plan my movie-going days in advanced with their comprehensive search engine. I don't need to read cheap, tasteless prints as I can go online and find others which offer an alternative viewpoint. I can calculate how many miles I've ran and check out the best running routes even before I start running..

Now, now you know why I'm such a firm believer of technology. It's made my life better (and I can chat for as long as I want with free incoming calls!).

It's time to get back to figuring out how the proposal will look by the time Friday comes around. With a little help from my iTunes of course.

sentimental

we finally got back at one over a ken hirai song..

sometimes friends are just like that. they dont need to be the nearest. but simply the ones who care and keep you in their hearts. as you do the same about them.. being sentimental keeps me grounded. too often, too much.

ken hirai is love.. because for this one moment, at this hour, life feels so uncomplicated thanks to him. :)

<2> please, please me

i just wanted to say i'll do exactly just that.. as long as it's nothing illegal and something within my capabilities and that i have access to..

i'll do it for you.. and i know you are reading this.. life gets boring without you.. *big sigh*